Do pets grieve?
Just as our beloved pets are part of the family, they also tend to form close bonds with each other. While it’s impossible to fully understand our pet’s inner feelings and thoughts, after many years of experience with home euthanasia appointments the answer is clear.
Yes.
Though our pets may not experience grief in the same complex way we humans do, they recognise and respond to changes in their environment. This is clear by the way many pets react to loss. Even pets that didn’t seem particularly close may still show signs of grief after the loss of a companion.
How to spot the signs of a pet grieving
Grief is a complex emotion, and each pet will respond in a unique way to the loss of a companion. Pets are also highly sensitive to our feelings and reactions, as well as changes to their daily routine that may be affected by our grief.
Though every pet is different, in my experience these are the signs of grieving I see most commonly in pets:
- Increased attachment to their owner, such as demanding more attention or being more ‘clingy’
- Spending more time in their companion’s favourite places
- Reduced interest in playing or eating
- Lethargy or changes in sleeping patterns
- Hiding or withdrawal from family members or other pets
- Increased vocalisation (barking or crying out)
- Wandering or pacing around the home looking for their companion
- Increased aggression or destructive behaviour
- Watching your pet experience grief can be extremely difficult. It’s always best to speak to a vet If you have any concerns about your pet’s behaviour.
- Refusing to eat should be taken particularly seriously, as this can lead to severe medical complications in cats, as well as pets with underlying health conditions, such as diabetes.
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It’s important to remember that some pets may not show any signs of grieving. This is also completely normal and doesn’t necessarily mean your pet didn’t have a strong bond with their companion. Your pet is just responding to loss differently.
How do dogs grieve compared to cats?
A recent study has shown that the most common signs of grief are very similar for both dogs and cats. These are more affectionate or ‘clingy’ behaviour towards their owners and spending time in their companion’s favourite places. However, there are differences too. Cats are likely to vocalise and cry out more than usual, whereas dogs are likely to spend more time sleeping. This aligns both with my own observations and what my clients have shared with me over the years.
Do cats grieve the loss of a dog?
Yes. The signs of grief are very similar even if pets are not of the same species, but have formed a close bond with each other.
Do dogs grieve the loss of a cat?
Yes! Just as cats may grieve for a dog they have a close bond with, dogs may also grieve for a lost cat, especially if they spent a lot of time together.
How to help pets cope with loss
Though all pets experience loss differently, I’ve found the following points to be most effective at helping you to guide and reassure your pet during this time:
Support changes in behaviour
Your pet’s behaviour may change while they’re grieving. This is completely normal, however it may include undesirable behaviours such as being more destructive or anxious when left alone. Though this can be very distressing, it’s important not to punish your pet. Instead, ignore the unwanted behaviour and redirect your pet towards a positive activity such as a food puzzle or a toy.
Make sure you reward good behaviour and reassure your pet if they need a little more love and attention than usual. If you’re still worried about your pet, it’s best to reach out to a vet who will be able to provide additional advice and make sure there isn’t a medical reason for your pet’s behaviour.
Bedding & Home Environment
It is important to wait a little bit of time before you pack up, wash and remove the beds and blankets used by your pet who has recently passed away. I recommend waiting a few days to weeks and only wash and remove beds one at a time and give your other pets time to adjust to life without their companion. Many pets may want to lie in their companion’s bed, with the familiar smell to help as they are grieving.
Activities
Changes in routine can be highly stressful for our pets, so it’s helpful to keep routines as consistent as possible including feeding times, diet, toileting, and exercise. Make sure to include time for positive activities that your pet enjoys, for example spending time with other dogs or playing with their favourite toys.
Relationships
The loss of a companion can also affect how our other pets interact with each other. Monitor them closely for changes to their relationships such as aggression or territorial behaviour.
Some pets may also develop signs of separation anxiety, such as pacing, panting, difficulty settling, whining or barking, drooling, urinating in unusual places, or destructive behaviour. If your pet is showing these signs, it’s best to speak to vet or a specialist in veterinary behaviour.
Calming pheromones
Soothing pheromone products are available to help provide a calming effect and reduce anxiety during times of change. These are synthetic versions of the natural pheromones our pets have, and are produced to signal safety and comfort. Popular brands include Feliway for cats and Adaptil for dogs and these are available as diffusers, collars, and sprays.
Deciding to adopt again
The decision to bring a new pet into the family can be complicated and should never be rushed. Giving your pet time to grieve and adjust to loss is extremely important, just as it is for the members of your family. Remember it’s also perfectly fine if you don’t want to adopt another pet, or don’t feel ready or able to support them. As long as you and your pets are happy, that’s what’s most important.
If you feel you and your pet are ready to bring a new love into your lives, make sure to think carefully about which type of pet will be most suitable for your family. Consider your potential pet’s breed, age, and activity requirements, as well as your family and pet’s current lifestyle. Talking to a vet that already knows you and your pet well can be extremely helpful.
Should other pets be present at the home euthanasia appointment?
I have been there to support pets and their families at hundreds of home euthanasia appointments over the years. After observing the reactions of many animals and listening to my client’s experiences the answer is a resounding yes.
The bond between pets can be extremely strong, just like any other family member. Many owners tell me that when their pet wasn’t present for the euthanasia of their companion, they spent time afterwards looking confused, upset and would search or wait for them to come home. This can be heartbreaking for everyone involved. In comparison, if allowed to see their companion after death, our pets seem to have some natural understanding as to what has happened and can move on more easily.
Most pets are respectful during the home euthanasia process and may even respond by cuddling their companion or giving them space as needed. Though it is my professional opinion that other pets should be present during home euthanasia where possible, I also respect that my clients know their pets best and have a unique understanding of their needs. There are situations whereby having another pet present simply isn’t a good idea. For example, pets that need to be separated due to aggression, or young puppies and kittens that aren’t aware of the sensitive situation and just want to play.
Even if your pet wasn’t present during the euthanasia, I always recommend that they have a moment to see their companion after they have passed away. In my experience, this isn’t upsetting for them and actually helps them to move on. In some cases, a pet will simply sniff the air and not approach any further. Others may sniff the body before walking away, a few will take a moment to curl up next to their companion.